The star of the once popular TV show ¨Caillou¨, Caillou has become bitter as nobody likes him anymore. In the past few years, Caillou has committed enough crimes that his criminal record has to be stored on its own independent government server. If you are interested, here is an abbreviated version below.
Shortened List of Caillou´s Crimes
- Assault
- Armed Robbery
- Grand Theft Auto
- Murder
- Battery
- Genocide
- Aircraft Hijacking
- Attempted Murder
- Train Robbery
- Underage Drinking
- Fraud
- Tax Evasion
- Second Degree Assault
- Jailbreak
For these past years, Caillou has been on the run from the law and has been chased across the globe by the CIA. According to surveillance cameras around the world, Caillou has been in hiding in North Korea. this is explained in the episode “Caillou’s International Friendship: The Forgen Adventure” where Caillou befriends Kim Jong Un. In a recent turn of events, it seems Caillou has left North Korea. Link that with the fact that there was a mass bank robbery a couple of days ago, and the story becomes clear. In fact, reports have reached the CIA that a “little bald man” was seen traveling on an international flight between China and the United States. ¨I would expect anything of Caillou. He´s a madman and will stop at nothing to get what he wants.¨ Says an anonymous member of the CIA. Eyewitnesses at the bank that was robbed, say that there was a ¨little bald guy¨ seen fleeing from the bank with bags of money. According to a 2021 study, people who have no hair become 90% nicer than they were with hair; with the obvious exception of Caillou. That means that this robbery was almost definitely Caillou. ¨Caillou is like, the scariest gang boss I have ever seen¨ says a local gang member. “He throws a tantrum whenever we don’t do what he wants, I don’t think my eardrums will ever recover from that.”
According to the FBI and CIA, Caillou is now the most wanted child in the world. The FBI is now sending out task forces to search for Caillou, spanning out into Canada and Mexico. “Now Caillou won’t be able to step one foot into the USA before being imprisoned.” Says Robert Fuller, head of the CIA. “Its only a matter of time until we catch him.”
