Yesterday in Jefferson City Missouri, a local discovered a formula that will create a kind of flexible fog. As soon as we heard about this amazing scientific breakthrough we sent Banter News reporters to interview the scientist responsible for the flexible fog formula. “I was pwaying with shaving cream at school.” Says Lil Billy, the 3-year-old mastermind behind the flexible fog formula. “I mixed shaving cweam with baking soda. Then I sprawed shaving cream with vinegar. Then POOF there was fog everywhere!” “How do you think this invention will benefit mankind?” Asked one of our reporters. “I dunno. I guess it just is fun to say.”
What baffles scientists are the properties that the flexible fog possesses. 12 ounces of this fog can stretch up to 3 miles long without becoming 2 separate fog clouds. Scientists at CU have tried to recreate this experiment but when they added the vinegar it just foamed up. “There must have been an extra ingredient we don’t know about.” Says Mr. Hobbs, a scientist at CU. “I’ve been studying science for 2 weeks. I’m an expert on everything there is to know about how matter works. This shouldn’t be possible.” Says Jim Grant, locally known as “Old Man Grant”. “Didn’t you just watch some 3rd grade BrainPOP videos to learn about the properties of matter?” asked one of our reporters. Thanks to that idiot reporter Old man Grant stopped the interview there.
Meanwhile, scientist Mike Ellis at NEL (Not Evil Labs) is trying to investigate what extra ingredient could have made this formula work. “I want to know how I can use this formula to destroy my enemies.” Says Mike. Mike and his team immediately set out for the preschool where Lil Billy created the formula. At first, Mike thought that it was playdough or something in the classroom but then he found out that Lil Billy’s class had recently taken a field trip to the local nuclear power plant. “We for-I mean encourage them to go inside the chamber where nuclear energy is made. It gives them a hands-on experience of the future of sustainable energy.” Says the preschool teacher. Mike and his team found out that there must have been some nuclear energy on Lil Billy’s hands when he sprinkled the baking soda on the shaving cream. “Nobody is safe now that I have this information,” says Mike. “MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”
